


I'm dedicating every day to you

by PinkGold



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27043921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGold/pseuds/PinkGold
Summary: After months of getting clear from the social workers, they were going to walk back home with a new member of their family. They hadn’t met the kid yet, but the thread of anticipation was tense inside Eddie. He could only imagine what was going inside Buck’s creative mind.orEddie and Buck adopt a new kid!
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 135





	I'm dedicating every day to you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmicsunset](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicsunset/gifts).



> !!! This is my first fic posted for this fandom, for these two idiots which we all love and apreciate. <3 Thank you for my beautiful friends who helped me beta it <3  
> Also a gift for @cosmicsunset, happy birthday bb, I love you!! I hope you enjoy reading this.  
> Title from Dear Theodosia bc im that kind of bi.

“Seriously, Buck, you’re nervous  _ now?” _

“Huh? What?” Buck snapped his attention to Eddie. His lips jerked into a reassuring smile, but Eddie wasn’t a fool, and Buck’s shoulders hadn’t been this tense ever since their marriage. Eddie raised a knowing eyebrow, and Buck coiled into himself. 

Eddie hated how his husband still felt the need to hide his insecurities instead of sharing them, but it was slow progress, he knew, and Buck was getting better every time. He couldn’t rush, but he could nudge. After months of getting clear from the social workers, they were going to walk back home with a new member of their family. They hadn’t met the kid yet, but the thread of anticipation was tense inside Eddie. He could only imagine what was going inside Buck’s creative mind.

“Evan, you’re almost cutting the blood flow of my hand with your grip.” Eddie pointed out, and a fond smile grew on his face when Buck loosened his grasp. “Look, they love us here, they won’t suddenly decide in the span of thirty minutes that we’re bad influences and throw us out with only a dejected pat on the back.”

Buck shifted on his chair and pinched his eyebrows together, mulling something deeply in his brain. Eddie let him work his words out patiently, caressing the skin between Buck’s index finger and thumb, trying to understand where Buck’s unease was coming from.

He’d been quiet all morning, but Eddie just assumed he was tired from their 12h shift and their not so restful activities that same night. But Eddie could see it now, looking back. Buck had been on edge all day, and now that the social worker excused herself to deal with the last of the paperwork, Buck fell back on his chair like someone just cut the invisible strings holding him up.

“That’s not it. I…” he breathed out and massaged his forehead with his free hand. “You know what they say about the apple never falling too far from the tree?”

Eddie didn’t like where this was going. “Yeah?”

When Buck spoke again, his voice was so small, Eddie could barely hear him. “I- I don’t want to end up like my parents, Eddie.”

“Buck-”

“I know, logically I know I won’t. But what if I fuck up? What if I do something wrong? I… didn’t have the best role models.” Buck said it all in one go, looking at the floor, afraid to move,  _ afraid to look at Eddie. _

God, had Buck been worrying over this all this time? Eddie was about to ask why he hadn’t voiced those fears before, but in a way, Eddie understood why. He also had his demons not yet shared, so Eddie couldn’t blame him.

It was still a shock, really. It never crossed Eddie’s mind that Buck might feel this way. You took one glance at Buck interacting with Christopher and you knew instantly that Buck had a huge, loving heart. It was written in his every move what a great parent he was. Maybe not the most responsible one, but that didn’t matter.

The point was: everyone except Buck seemed to know that, and it broke Eddie’s heart.

“Evan,” Eddie said and waited for those blue eyes to find him. The anguish in his expression stole all the air from his lungs, leaving Eddie desperate, but he marched on. “A thousand times I’ve seen you with kids, and never in any of those interactions you posed a threat for their wellbeing, and nor would I bet you wished that.” Buck shrugged and almost broke eye contact, but Eddie stopped him by squeezing their intertwined hands. “Christopher is lucky to have you as his dad, and so will our new baby. Because you care, you listen, you are present. You are so,  _ so  _ far from what your parents were. You know why?”

Buck shook his head, and Eddie saw his eyes glistening.

“Because you love without conditions, and you always, and I mean it, Evan,  _ always  _ have what’s best in mind. There’s no malice in you, and Chris knows, I know, our friends know, even the social worker knows, Buck.” He cradled Buck’s hands to his cheek and kissed his palm. “You are nothing like your parents and, hell, I’m so proud of you for that. Proud of you and Maddie for running away, from becoming great people despite everything. But what I’m most proud of is to call you my husband, my lover, my partner, and the father of our kids.”

Buck let out a wet laugh as tears streamed down his face freely. He was still looking at Eddie, but there wasn’t any fear left in those eyes, only warmth. Eddie cleared Buck’s red cheeks soothing him with murmurs of his love, letting Buck kiss his palms, even if they probably tasted salty from Buck’s own tears. 

Eddie cursed these chairs and their stupid arms because all he wanted was to wrap his arms around Buck and hold him until Eddie’s words made sense to him. Instead, he pressed their foreheads together and kissed Buck.

And that was how the social worker found them, huddled together, whispering reassurances and crying openly. Eddie wasn’t even embarrassed when she cleared her throat to get their attention, because his eyes instantly fell on the child in her arms.

“Dads, meet Amelia, your daughter,” the social worker cooed.

She had brown skin, darker than Eddie’s, but her eyes were a similar enough blue to Buck’s. Amelia was staring at them, half-hidden on the social worker’s neck, but there was a hint of curiosity in her beautiful bright eyes. They approached her slowly, and Eddie’s heart exploded affectionately the moment her tiny hand grabbed his extended fingers.

“Oh, I’m going to cry again,” Buck said, voice wobbling. It didn’t take more than two seconds before he was sobbing.

-

To say Chris loved his new sibling was an understatement. His eyes shone and he almost bounced off his feet as Buck and Eddie finally arrived home with a sleeping Amelia on Buck’s arms. 

It was almost comical if it wasn’t the sweetest thing Eddie ever saw. Buck with his huge arms cradling a fourteen months old baby with such delicacy and love. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off them, which had been a problem driving back home, really, he almost missed their line four times.

_ Abuela _ had been keeping Christopher’s company while they were out, and now she fussed around them before stealing the baby girl for herself. She sat on the couch and got Chris to sit next to her, both of them admiring the new member of their family in awe.

“Her hair is curlier than Buck’s!” Chris pointed out cheerfully, carefully caressing her cheeks with his hand. Isabel got Chris interested in some facts she knew about babies, answering all the curious questions the boy had in mind, and Eddie and Buck let them to it, knowing Amelia was in the best company right now.

That calmed some of Eddie’s own fears, to know that he still had his  _ abuela  _ and  _ tía  _ to count on if things got out of their control. Eddie hadn’t been around this part of Chris’ life, and he hadn’t been able to witness so many firsts. His first steps, his first actual food, his first word… and Eddie was going to feel forever guilty about that.

There was so much he didn’t know, and he was eager to learn, of course, otherwise he wouldn’t have started this journey with Buck. But the fear of the unknown scared him. There were things he was already supposed to know but didn’t, because he ran away the first time, and it made him feel helpless. So really, he was grateful for Isabel and Pepa. 

“Hey,” Buck pulled him out of his thoughts. He had a concerned look on his face, but he didn’t push it. “What do you say about a warm shower to relax?”

“That sounds great.” Eddie groaned and followed Buck’s lead.

After the shower, as they both got dressed in clean clothes and were eager to step downstairs to join their family, Buck surprised Eddie with a hug, one of the ‘tight and full of emotions’ kind. Eddie humored him, hugging him back with just as much intention.

“I never thanked you for what you said earlier,” Buck whispered in his ear before leaving a soft kiss on his shoulder.

Warmth flooded Eddie’s chest, glad that his words really helped Buck. “Anytime, Buck.”

“And, you know,” Buck smirked and shrugged playfully as they parted, “whatever’s bothering you, you can always share too.” 

Eddie chuckled, kissing Buck’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,  _ mi corazón.” _ Eddie snorted at Buck’s pronunciation, even as his heart swelled with love, “What? I’m trying my best here, Diaz.”

“Remind me to give you more Spanish lessons in the future.” he rolled his eyes and left the room, leaving Buck to groan exasperatedly alone in their bedroom.

-

They had both taken their parental leaves to do this. It was Buck’s idea, and Eddie had been taken aback since he knew how much the work meant to Buck.

“Well, but this is a thousand times more significant. This is our lives, Eddie.” Buck had answered easily, and Eddie had to hold himself back from getting on his knees and proposing. Again. 

And true to his words, Eddie never once saw any hint of regret or anything that would make him think Buck wasn’t living exactly what he wanted. And that was their greatest fulfillment, Eddie thought. To be happy.

Bobby had assured them the 118 could handle six weeks without them, and they even caught Chim and Hen mock celebrating their absence. But they couldn’t stay away for long, not from their family.

The doorbell rang, and Eddie had to refrain from cursing in front of Christopher. 

“I got it!” Came Buck’s answer from downstairs, followed soon by the door opening and Buck greeting the first of their friends to arrive. 

“Ok, little man, here are your glasses.” Eddie helped them on and kissed his forehead before standing back up from where he just finished tying Chris’ shoes. “Ready to see your friends?”

Christopher nodded eagerly. “I can’t wait to introduce them to Amelia!”

Eddie’s chest squeezed with how much Christopher already loved and accepted his sister. Truthfully, Chris’ reaction had been his number one fear from the moment they decided they were doing this. But months later and questions answered and love reassured, Christopher loved Amelia as much as they did, if not more. The moment Eddie noticed it, his relief was so unexpected his knees almost gave out..

Thank god Buck had been there to catch him.

“Eddie, there you are!” Karen said as she saw them coming down from the stairs to the living room. She gave him a warm hug before releasing him with a pat on his shoulder and giving Chris the same treatment. “Hen thought you had gone into hiding.”

Hen shrugged and raised her eyebrow teasingly. “Two weeks isolated from anyone who isn’t Buck, his kids-” his heart jumped at that,  _ his kids-  _ “and the shopping clerk, I just assumed he’d forgotten his manners.”

Eddie laughed. She was probably right. “Missed you too, Hen.” He hugged her next, feeling her bright spirit envelop him. “Where’s Denny and Nia?”

The four of them turned together at the sound of water splashing followed by sets of laughter coming from the kitchen, one undeniably Buck’s. Eddie shared a suspicious glance with them all except Chris who let out an excited gasp and didn’t waste another second before trekking towards the kitchen.

Eddie never got to see what happened because the doorbell went off again, and so, their afternoon celebration started.

They wanted the fire family to meet Amy ever since the first day they got her, but with neither of their shifts and days off matching up, the meet up could only happen now. And Eddie was glad, in a way. Those two weeks only the four of them (and Carla and Isabel) had given Eddie the boost he needed to find his footing completely.

And now, even though everyone was eager to meet Amelia, the kid seemed more interested in the toys she occasionally got from the visits than the visits themselves. Chim had been devastated he didn’t get a hug from Amelia, but she was so focused awkwardly running around the other kids, that Chim had been nothing more than background noise.

She was adorable running, though.

“Relax, Buck, she knows how to rise up if she falls,” Eddie said at some point to relieve the tension of his husband’s shoulders. Kids weren’t made of glass, even if they did look immensely fragile next to Buck.

“There are  _ so _ many pointy edges around the house, Eddie, how did we let that happen?” Buck looked concerned from one furniture to another.

Eddie wanted to chuckle, but even though they were in a room full of first responders who also had kids and were less than two seconds away from Amelia’s ever-moving position, Eddie also couldn’t hide the undercurrent of worry in his veins. 

“She’s okay, Buck. We got this.” Eddie entwined their hands together, anchoring them both. Because they really did. They got this. 

Buck relaxed as Eddie’s words sank in. Not completely, not really, but then, when did parents ever relax? Not when they had to keep an eye on their kids 24/7. 

And to give them a rest, Amy fell asleep not long after that in Athena’s arms, surrounded by the warmth of her new family as they continued to party. 

-

Eddie wasn’t panicking. No.

Well, he was, but that wasn’t the point.

He knew how to change diapers, he knew how warm the milk had to be, and what food Amelia could already eat and what he couldn’t leave in front of her without risking it going straight to her mouth. He knew all that. How to coo her to sleep, how to make her stop crying (sometimes), and how to make her laugh.

Eddie did  _ not _ know, however, how to give her a proper bath. And he was alone and panicking. Up until now, Buck had always been around for this part, and yes, they had given her her first bath together, even asked Carla to take a picture of the three of them (him, Buck, and Chris) all kneeling around Amy starring in the tub. 

It was moments like this when his heart clenched bittersweetly, and he wished for the millionth time he hadn’t missed them the first time around.

Amelia cried, snapping him out of his stupor, and he groaned, almost giving in and crying with her. Buck would be home any minute, having offered to take Chris to school that morning to give Eddie some extra minutes of sleep since it had been his turn to keep an eye open for whatever Amelia might need at night.

But Eddie needed Buck now because he was so bad at this. So, so bad.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry, Ames, it’s just water.” He said softly, trying to keep his voice calm for her sake, and really hoping she couldn’t hear his distress. The sound of the front door closing downstairs was like music to his ears. “Help!” he called out, and he relaxed as he heard Buck’s heavy footsteps coming up.

“What’s wrong? Oh.” Buck laughed at the scene in the bathroom. Amelia was crying in the tub, her hair only half wet and Eddie knelt in front of her, shirt drenched and looking completely lost. He would have found it funny as well if he wasn’t the one almost crying. “You forgot the rubber duck.”

The rubber… he cursed the air. Of  _ course. _ He mentally slapped himself for forgetting the most important part of Amelia’s bath, her partner in crime: the rubber duck. As soon as Eddie placed the duck on the water, Amelia’s cries became a burst of cheerful laughter as she splashed the water around her toy.

“Thank you.” He sighed, resting his head on the cool tub’s sides.

“You’re welcome… but you could have waited ‘till I got home, I was only gone for twenty minutes.” Buck crouched next to him, pulled his sleeves back, and started helping Eddie.

Eddie hummed and shrugged, not taking his eyes off Amelia’s head, now totally drenched. “I wanted to try on my own.”

A beat of silence and then, “Is there a reason for that?”

Eddie could feel Buck’s eyes boring into him, but he didn’t turn, not when he had to be careful not to let shampoo enter their  _ estrellita’s  _ eyes. And not looking helped him say what he needed, anyway.

“I wasn’t around for Christopher’s first bath, or any bath, in fact.” The words left him hollow as he admitted it out loud for the first time, to Buck, to himself. “I’m not trying to compensate but…”

“You don’t want to make the same mistakes again,” Buck said, his voice understanding. “But, Eddie, Chris doesn’t resent you for any of that, he loves you, you know that.”

“I know, I just… I just wished I could- I don’t know, go back in time and undo all my mistakes.” He let his grief wash over him, weighing him down. But as briefly as that came, it washed away by the comforting palm on his back, anchoring him away from his past, keeping him in the present.

And that’s what Buck was to him: his present, his future.

“Thanks,” he said, and smiled at the confused frown Buck pulled.

“But I didn’t say anything.”

“Your presence is enough comfort.” He gave Buck a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Are you implying I’m nothing more than a sight for sore eyes?”

“You said it, not I.”

Buck gave an indignant huff and flicked water on his face, which got Amelia into a giggling fit. All his worries and troubles seemed to fade away at that moment, at the sound of Amelia’s laugh. His eyes found Buck’s and he knew all the love and passion stored in those blue eyes were mirrored in his.

“For what’s worth, I’m glad you’re here today, with me.”

Eddie smiled, easily capturing Buck’s right hand and kissing his wedding band. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> aaa Thank you for reading!! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! <3


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